I’d spend much less time on cleaning, and more on activities to occupy the troops, improving their behaviour. sodrained Fri 09-Aug-19 14:42:34. She ate and drank whatever she wanted, didn't lose weight and missed doctors appointments. If she get a 3, she gets told "that's a 3" and goes to her room for a "calm down". The past week has just confirmed it for me. Be kind to yourself. I can’t cope with my health issues anymore and nobody can figure out what’s wrong. Things have got better in the last year, the summer before school started was really awful. However, after 5 years I can't suppress my physical and emotional needs anymore. I had my daughter when I was 16 and up until 6 months ago she was an angel and now she has totally changed and I don't really know why or what I can do. It might be totally different for you! I’m a firm believer that the devil has work for idle hands to do. Talk widget showing discussions of the day & trending threads, Subscribe to Mumsnet emails direct to your inbox. Be 'kind' to yourself. We have! I can't cope no more, I can't except it and never will.i wanna be like everyone else I find myself looking at people and just thiking bet she has peace and quiet. It's really helping here. Apparently it worked anyhow. If I clean one room they destroy something in another room, today for example I'm cleaning the kitchen they've poured cups of water into the sofa and emptied a potty on to it that was next on my list to empty. I used to book mine in for a few days a week in holiday to give myself a break (sahm).They obviously have basic understanding being so little, try and give structured 'destroying' time.. I am the world's worst mum I just can't cope with my middle son anymore. Issues they may look at are: 1. There's no discussion, no negotiation, and it's used for all scenarios from whinging, back chat, through to fighting with her brother, or yesterday, throwing all her toys down the stairs then getting her 2yo brother to slide down them on a dressing gown Hitting is an immediate "3". Last night my brother had a go at me for shouting at her & something inside me just snapped. I have a similar age gap and I've worked with pre-schoolers. I also hide away from socialising with anyone other than my mother as I can't handle the slightest criticism. But it will get better. I just don't understand why they are like this to me. And a hug - you sound despairing. I don’t know what to do. Forum membership is open to anyone residing in Australia. Today I have turned my back on my mum because I can't cope anymore. I just can’t cope anymore. I get up after a bad night sleep get daughter off to school then I have to have a sit down and I am nodding off I am so tired. Locks on cupboards etc-whatever makes life easier and stops them causing havoc. Il work on that again. As you could then have some time for yourself and some one to one time with each child. I wouldn’t confuse them by chopping and changing discipline methods like naughty steps or time out. I am constantly nervous, heart racing, mood swings! Il try keep my story brief (although might be hard given the way my mind is going!). To use this feature subscribe to Mumsnet Premium - get first access to new features see fewer ads, and support Mumsnet. OP - I agree that your children see you as a soft touch and obviously think there are no consequences for their behaviour.I would advise that you explain, in a way they can understand, that certain behaviour isn't acceptable and that there will be consequences if they are naughty. What has been tried before 4. He was great but it would take me all night to try get him to understand what I can't myself, but at least now he knows I'm not avoiding him at nights. I can’t stop being depressed. in response to your tips, I will definitely try to apply what I can and hope that it brings some relief. I am depressed because I can’t do anything due to health and I’m on my own a single Mum. Craft, paper to rip and stick through times when yiu need to tell them off for inside damage.Run them in park for hours every day. I just don't understand where I've gone wrong maybe over spoiled them I don't know. She is now almost blind, is on dialysis and awaiting a kidney transplant. Find your inner supermum skills and take charge! I need a break, but don't know which way to turn. If you believe in yourself, the DC will too. I am obsessed with the news, and all the murders and home invasions etc, that I am 90% of the time terrified of it happening! And I was able to stay close to my friends and hang out with them regularly. Your child’s needs 2. i can't achieve anything anymore! When you've had your next baby I would suggest looking for work even if you only end up earning enough to cover childcare. I’m anemic so I just want to sleep all the time, but I can’t take my iron pills as I know they will upset my tummy further. Well as the title says I cant cope with this life anymore. It's gruelling and pushes every button.Is there any holiday clubs that working mums use near you? When “I can’t” comes rushing out, it feel like the response to an accusation. They’ll not only trash the place, they’ll feel unhappy, insecure and out of control. Please forgive the need to be anon. Getting support – how much does it cost? Before you can post or reply in these forums, please join our online community. Dad can’t feed or dress himself anymore and he is frightened of taking a bath. I’ve been in bed most of sunday and most of today with an ongoing migraine which I know has been because of the stress of arguing. The second thing you need to do is to stop listening to everyone else telling you that you did this, that, or the other thing wrong. I can't be sorry for her. I've taken care of her everyday for well over 2 years now & in that time I've also cared for my dad for 9 months with lung cancer, at home, as that was his wish & lost him in August. I just had a quiet menacing hiss, a death stare, and an air of uncontested authority! Also I avoid shops and crowded places at all costs. Do you have a routine? Im seeing a counsellor at the moment for my anxiety and I have spoken to her about it but all I ever get is all kids are the same at this stage but surely that's not true. im a 27 year old mother of 1 boy. I need a word. My DD is 4 my DS is 3 and I'm 20 weeks with my third that I'm now regretting. However, please make sure you do it in a way that's best for him. Get DH to help in getting everything secure with locks -you can just put catches/ hooks at the top of doors, so they ca nt get in the kitchen( or whatever room you're not in).Then sign up for a parenting course because you have to crack this before the baby arrives. I can't cope anymore d I've had enough of everything, I'm currently 26 weeks pregnant and feel so alone all the time. I'm very honest with my feelings yet he refuses or is incapable of seeing me. This is page 1 of 2 (This thread has 40 messages.). Please someone just listen to me for once. But she too can daydream in the mornings. Please select 'ok' to extend your session and prevent losing any content you are working on from being lost. Can't think what it's called but you get someone who becomes a family friend basically and helps mums struggling with young children. It’s interesting that they behave for their dad, but not you. I can't cope with my life anymore, I want it all to go away. Sounds like you need to practice being strict- for example if they try to walk around with food, take it away. I never bothered. Remember all parents have things they struggle with, I found the toddler stage easy-teens not so much! I barely cope with mine but what I do find helps is getting out every morning at 9 and heading to somewhere with open space - the woods is my favourite - for them to run around and explore. NewAccess – Coaching you through tough times, Create your Beyond Now safety plan online, Recovering from a mental health condition, Supporting someone with a mental health condition, Supporting someone to see a health professional, Just speak up national awareness campaign, Building resilience in children aged 0–12: A practice guide, Signs and symptoms of anxiety and depression in older people, Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people, Lesbian, gay, bi, trans, intersex (LGBTI), bodily, gender and sexuality diverse people, Resilience in the face of change: stories of transmen, At home - everything you need for a healthy family, Helpful contacts and websites for educators, Visit the Coronavirus Mental Wellbeing Support Service, Lesbian, gay, bi, trans, intersex (LGBTI) people, Supporting someone with depression or anxiety. I feel like I have failed as a mother and I don't know what to do anymore. Food and drinks stay in the kitchen. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety, especially social anxiety, years ago but have always prided myself on a strong mind that could snap myself out of it, but now, it's making my life hell! Stair gates on doors mean that it is harder for them to get into fridge or fill cups with water etc, also makes it easier for you to keep an eye on them. I can’t stop it from coming back. Save tv for when you are desperate-makes it more of a treat. You need to establish control here as the adult. Is there a DP in this to support you?I think you need to reach out ASAP to a health visitor, explain the situation, and ask them for help. Great advice @Babdoc - I need to take a leaf out of your book! My 4.5yo is pushing all my buttons at the mo and my 2yo has hit the screaming tantrums stage. She wanted to agree, but in the end she's always going to take my dad's side because it's less exhausting. My horses have been my only consistent through every bad patch of life and I don't want to give them up, but my nasty mind is almost sending me down that path as I'm such a failure with them.Â, I do not want medication, I don't feel that's the path for me at all, I just think I need some mind management teqniques until I can snap out of this 'patch" too.Â, Any suggestions or help would be amazing :(, I can relate to your symptoms...all of them..These symptoms 'feeling' are awful..the social anxiety too. He should be a responsible man and look after you and his child! But you have to follow through and be prepared for a lot of whingeing till they get used to the new order.And I get that at 20 weeks you are probably exhausted, but it sounds as though they need wearing out - is there a small children's play park near you where they can't escape and they can wear themselves out safely? Sign up below for regular emails filled with information, advice and support for you or your loved ones. He is 83 - some might say he's had a good innings, but he's still my Dad and I feel I can't make him smile any more. I honestly cannot imagine looking after them while pregnant. I feel like I'm being firm but fair. And once it's done, it's done, we don't talk about it again. Try and do stuff with only 1 child -put the other into playgroup/leave with DH etc)-I found they were far less likely to run away on their own (far less brave!). In other words, keep the little...um...darlings too busy to get up to mischief! Also divide and conquer-have one in trolley at supermarket, one in pushchair (take turns if nec). Signs to watch for are feeling panic at the slightest thing or feeling that if something else went wrong you either wouldn't cope or wouldn't care. I found a bath every night, then quiet time/stories etc calmed them down-and could also shorten the afternoon if bad weather! Physical and emotional needs anymore constantly nervous, heart racing, mood swings talk about is babies and! 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